Everything I Know about Unitarian Universalism, I Learned as Chalice Lighter - Part 1

I recently learned that the New York Metro District (which no longer exists; it was eaten by the Central East Region) re-visioned their unique Chalice Lighters program to be identical to the Chalice Lighters programs all across the country. I'm pretty sure, though not positive, that this happened around 2014.

The thing with the New York Metro District's Chalice Lighters program was that it was both successful and wildly popular, and from its inception was loathed by the bureaucrats in the UUA. Loathed is probably too mild a term. As the program was instituted in 1996, and killed re-visioned in 2014, that's eighteen years of being a thorn in the side of the Unitarian Universalist Association, all the while literally doing nothing but good.

Read that last sentence again. It's 100% true.

And every single bureaucrat at the Unitarian Universalist Association hated the program. That's also 100% true.

Can you see the cosmic joke? 

First a little direct history, dates may be off as this is from memory, but otherwise you're getting it from the creator of the now very dead New York Metro District's Chalice Lighter program.

I was serving my second congregation, the first being a year-long consulting gig to a now dead congregation. I knew them well. It's best they're dead.

Things were going well in my congregation in Freeport, NY. I had settled in, weathered a divorce, and the congregation was growing. That said, I felt it was time to give back a bit to the district. 

I spoke with our District Executive (another dead position?) and made it clear that if there was some way to serve the district, I was available. His response was immediate, "I want you to take on Chalice Lighters." 

"Oh shit that program is really fucking broken." I thought to myself. I said aloud "What are the parameters?"

"Raise money." he replied.

"That's it? What I mean is, do I have freedom to change the program?"

"As long as you raise more money than we usually get, feel free."

"How much money does an average call receive?" I asked.

"About $700."

I just looked at him in silence, then, "I could write a check for that..."

"That's the point. This program's completely broken. You can't break it. If you put any effort in at all, you'll easily double the average call amount."

And so I took on the position of Chalice Lighter in the New York Metro District.

[Continued...Here.]

Your Ol' Pal,

Devilhead